Bringing back the ultimate sexy *wink*

So after having a chat with a friend of mine about a few areas that need to be attended to in the church, my mind stuck on 1 issue, the issue of purity amongst brothers and sisters in the church. To protect the friend's name we'll call him X.
So X was talking about how it saddens him that the men of this generation have failed society, they have failed to honour the women of this generation and mostly have failed to protect them. Its sad to see that this has trickled down to the church. I'll state a few points I'm passionate about, please do feel free to comment on this. So X pointed out how its even difficult to be genuinely polite to a lady at church and not have your intentions questioned. You compliment her, it translates into attraction; you ask her out for coffee, she tells all her accountability partners that you like her; you give her a lift and then boom you suddenly become a topic in her session with her discipler. I sat there agreeing with everything he was saying because I actually shared the same sentiments.
Later on in the day as I dug deeper into my thoughts I started realising how we've lost it as a church-society. I thought back to days where I would chill for hours on end with my male buddies and never had to think twice about their intentions. That part of my life was amazing, I learnt so much about the male species, way more than I could've from chats with my lady friends. I thought back to days where I'd go to the mall with a brother and not feel the pressure of checking for hints of whether or not he liked me.
I do however feel like I spent too much time with guys that it messed with head and some of those things were tested in my previous relationship; proving that it's impossible to have 2 male brains in a relationship, but thank God for grace.
Anyway as I was saying, I was just having flashbacks of days where I genuinely enjoyed my relationships with my brothers and never thought of it as anything more.
These days I'm extra-cautious about relations with guys... subconciously so. There's always that resounding thought at the back of my mind that says "what if he likes you? What if he just wants to stir up love and then leave? What if he just wants to test the waters? ".
These arent just thoughts that randomly stem from my overly-active brain. These are thoughts that have been planted by situations, heartaches, dodge brothers and misunderstood interactions with other brothers.
If anyone knows how it feels to be dishonoured, rejected, lead on and to cross boundaries in girl-boy-friendships, its me!
I have gone through all those and more, and not because I wanted to, but because:
1) I didnt respect my heart enough to know where to cross the line and
2) Some christian brothers loooveee reaping the benefits of having a girlfriend but fail to commit.
It's sad that the same heartache you run away from in the world is exactly what you're confronted with in the safest place...the church.

I just have a few pointers to give to both guys and ladies, lessons from my experiences
Ladies, respect your hearts, those organs are very fragile. Know who to give them to.
Not every guy you meet deserves a trial run to check whether or not he's the one.
In all relationships you enter into, guard your hearts.
Always expect the best out of every guy, expect that before anything they are your brothers and until the dude steps up, he will forever remain a brother. Trust me, this lays off alot of pressure in trying to figure out whether or not a brother has intentions of pursuing you.
Guys, ohhh my dearest brothers please protect your sisters' hearts. Treat them with the utter most honour and respect.
Dont stir up love if you wont back it up with actions, stop that stuff it aint cool.
Feel free to have coffee with a sister without being pressured to pursue her.
Raise the bar and show us ladies that there actually is a difference between worldly guys n y'all.

Yes we all make mistakes, we've all had crushes on people we shouldn't have, entertained conversations that were toxic, hurt people that didn't deserve to be hurt and hung out abit too much with the opposite sex and saw a few sparks that were really just that, sparks that die out.
The rest of your life is too long to spend with the wrong person, so choose carefully. Not every crush should manifest into a relationship.
Lets enjoy each other as brothers and sisters, create bonds that will ascend into eternity. Let us decrease the pressure we so heavily burden ourselves with, with regards to all this dating stuff and pursue pure, whole friendships.
Christ died that we may be united and become the family we preach to the world about. It starts with purifying our hearts and surrendering them to Jesus to do with them as He pleases.

Its time to bring back the real sexy...the family-zone sexy :).

Signed: love soldier Leeray