One pack of big girl panties coming right up!

The year started off with such a loud bang, and I mean that in its literal sense. I was at one of Durban's biggest new years parties hosted at Moses Mabhida stadium when the massive crowd welcomed 2014 with cheering and dancing. I decided that I would dance, shake,wiggle,jump and scream off the horrible year that was 2013 (check 2013 posts if you think I'm exaggerating).

Anyway, I really imagined 2014 to be the best year of my life because there seemed to be less that would worry me...no boyfriend hahaha, no hectic school timetable, no broken heart and most definitely no financial constraints that would strangle me...then life slowly began to unveil itself before my eyes.
Somewhere between celebrating the new year and planning how it would look like, I bumped into a horrible bug called dissatisfaction. The bug in it's entirety made a home in my heart, mind and soul. Everything, and I mean everything I had was suddenly not enough. My job, my studies, my mobility, and my connections. I started dwelling on the hundreds of things I didn't have; a car, a degree (yet, this is my final year and boy am I stocked about this), the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect boyfriend or at least halfway through that mission (this was greatly fueled by the number of people who seem to have the best boyfies and husbands and I'm on some "I love my teddy bears") and a salary that can afford me the opportunity of going on holiday every second month. Added onto all this distress, a valued person in my life decided to shoot the "you're a failure" speech right through my hoop of misfortunes...perfect timing I'd say!!!
You can just imagine the moping, whining, nagging and hopelessness that comes with this horrible bug.

Today, after attending a rather successful and enlightning seminar, I had a few things to ponder on as I headed out of that venue all excited, inspired and greatly uplifted.

Judging by the number of years I've been at UJ, it's quite clear that my cause for being there was far greater than obtaining a degree.
I've done great things at UJ, touched numerous lives, aided many students, seen and mentored dozens of girls into being incredible women of substance, godly women, women who have learnt to love themselves. I've been part of a plan that is far greater than anything I had imagined. I've been a beacon of hope for many, a joy bringer for thousands, loved a pack of individuals out of their insecurities and a support system for my circle . I've served the coldest and warmest of hearts and have found joy in converting both to being the hottest of hearts :).
I don't know about you, but those achievements sound far from something a failure would pull off. The bottom line is that God defines us, His words and thoughts  are the only definite truth about us. Yes, people may see your journey way differently from how God perceives it and that is perfectly fine, world changers never had the smoothest rides into their destinies but they kept at it. They walked, fell, got up, passed out, sipped on some water/juice/vodka lol but the main thing is that they kept the movement.
So it's time I believed in my own hype, I am an amazing woman and the world has no choice but to consume this truth. 

Dissatisfaction can find another home, my house is filled with endless opportunities, dreams, achievements and medals for staying true to my own race. I'm pleased to announce that I'm terminating the bug's lease contract and using all profits to buy myself a pack of big girl panties.

Signed: Love Soldier Leeray ♡