The week from hell...
This post is totally different from what I had initially planned to blog about a few days ago.
In summary, I found myself in a dark ditch with no-one to talk to (willingly so), angry at God, angry at myself and angry at life for throwing rotten lemons at me and expecting me to make lemonade from them. Everything I believed in, worked for, and saw God do suddenly came crumbling down and all I had was the comfort of the night to whisk me away to dreamland which became my scape goat.
It's funny how trials make you forget they're actually not going to hang around for long, they will soon pass and life will be as blissful as you've always imagined it to be. They draw you in and consume every bit of your fibre and almost eradicate any trace of goodness that's left in your life. It all felt too long and too daunting, the week seemed like it'd been postponed to last a few more months.
Wallowing in my misery became my antidote and before I knew it I had stopped talking to the only One that could give me perspective, embrace me, love me through the mess...my Hope of glory, my closest best-friend...Jesus.
The week came to an end and truth was shared , forgiveness was my portion again and I started feeling drops of life slowly begin to pour into my soul.
Lessons I picked up on my way back from hell...
God is always good, His goodness is not defined by what we're going through.
Being angry at God is the worst thing a Christian can do to themself as He is the only One that can shed light into your darkness and walk you through the mess.
If there's ever a voice in your head during the mess that whispers "God doesn't care", quickly turn around tell the devil to this face that he is a liar.
Even if I don't understand what He's doing, I need to trust in His character and His flawless nature and know that He will deliver me out of Israel.
The righteous will NEVER be forsaken, so I need to constantly abide in that truth.
The most liberating out of all these lessons is that God is not out to nurse my insecurities and comfort-zones, He's more concerned about one thing and that is to transform me into the likeness of Christ.
So just as the Israelites could've taken 40days to go through the wilderness if they'd trusted God and listened to Him, don't prolong the message that God is trying to communicate to you. Sit down, lay down your tantrums, be vulnerabl toe Him and listen as He speaks to you.
Signed: love soldier
In summary, I found myself in a dark ditch with no-one to talk to (willingly so), angry at God, angry at myself and angry at life for throwing rotten lemons at me and expecting me to make lemonade from them. Everything I believed in, worked for, and saw God do suddenly came crumbling down and all I had was the comfort of the night to whisk me away to dreamland which became my scape goat.
It's funny how trials make you forget they're actually not going to hang around for long, they will soon pass and life will be as blissful as you've always imagined it to be. They draw you in and consume every bit of your fibre and almost eradicate any trace of goodness that's left in your life. It all felt too long and too daunting, the week seemed like it'd been postponed to last a few more months.
Wallowing in my misery became my antidote and before I knew it I had stopped talking to the only One that could give me perspective, embrace me, love me through the mess...my Hope of glory, my closest best-friend...Jesus.
The week came to an end and truth was shared , forgiveness was my portion again and I started feeling drops of life slowly begin to pour into my soul.
Lessons I picked up on my way back from hell...
God is always good, His goodness is not defined by what we're going through.
Being angry at God is the worst thing a Christian can do to themself as He is the only One that can shed light into your darkness and walk you through the mess.
If there's ever a voice in your head during the mess that whispers "God doesn't care", quickly turn around tell the devil to this face that he is a liar.
Even if I don't understand what He's doing, I need to trust in His character and His flawless nature and know that He will deliver me out of Israel.
The righteous will NEVER be forsaken, so I need to constantly abide in that truth.
The most liberating out of all these lessons is that God is not out to nurse my insecurities and comfort-zones, He's more concerned about one thing and that is to transform me into the likeness of Christ.
So just as the Israelites could've taken 40days to go through the wilderness if they'd trusted God and listened to Him, don't prolong the message that God is trying to communicate to you. Sit down, lay down your tantrums, be vulnerabl toe Him and listen as He speaks to you.
Signed: love soldier
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